Okay. Let’s talk about water bottles.
I have this issue where I am the actual worst at drinking water. I’ve been trying really hard to fix this over the past year and it’s a work in progress. Props to me for having a giant cup of water next to me while writing this, mainly to boost my credibility, but hydration is hydration, amiright?
I’ve gone through a variety of kinds of bottles in the past year and none of them seem to last all that long. To spare the gross details, do you know how many random ways there are for water bottles to grow mold? Like….there are a lot and once that happens, some of the bottles can be incredibly hard to clean. I’ve done the metal bottles, plastic, BPA-free (I don’t know what this means, but I assume it means I’m not killing the environment/getting cancer/harming kittens and I’m for it).
So getting my FabFitFun box with a bkr water bottle in it approximately the same time that I had lost faith in infusing water bottles (started so great, ended so horribly) seemed like the Lord shining down and saying, “Here, my child. Drink more water.” It was glass with a silicone sleeve and overall, really, really cute. Awesome.
But then there was the packaging. Guys, I didn’t know that a water bottle could brag so much. This little tag touted how the bottle was magical and wonderful and would cure world hunger. (Maybe I embellished that last part a little.) But even a quick cursory glance of the FAQ’s on bkr’s website touts luxury and indulgence. It describes the water bottle as similar to one’s favorite t-shirt. bkr brags that it’s a beloved staple of a-list celebrities and made an appearance at fashion week. And the price point reflects this, starting at $28 for the “Teeny” 250 ml water bottle (just a standard color, no special designs or anything) up to $55 for a fancy “Big” 1L water bottle with a fancy silicone spiked sleeve.
All of this made me roll my eyes into the sun.
“It’s a freaking water bottle!” I snapped to all of my friends as I unboxed it. “It is the most conceited water bottle I’ve ever opened!”
I was so ready to mock this water bottle and, with full transparency, I did. Oh, I had so much fun mocking this water bottle. The plan was to use this water bottle for a week to debunk this fantastic water bottle and then move along with my life, just using this water bottle until it inevitably molded and I bought a new one.
Well….it didn’t work out that way.
I got the bottle in May and I’m still using it. And…surprisingly enough….I don’t hate it.
When I started this off, my friends knew about my week-long test run.
“How’s it going?” I would inevitably be asked. “Is it great?”
“It’s a water bottle.” I would retort with a roll of my eyes.
The features of the water bottle give me a lot of mixed feelings. The bottle is glass with a silicone sleeve and a solid plastic bottle. It has a loop at the top that is tilted but solid. This would work, I imagine, if you’re of the outdoorsy hiking persuasion. It won’t swing back and forth. Mine is a 500 ML (“Little”) and fits perfectly into the cupholders at the gym, which is nice. It has a screw top, so no fancy straws, slits to drink from, or anything like that. Imagine you’re drinking from your standard Dasani/Aquafina/Joe’s Grocery Store brand plastic bottled water, but it’s glass and doesn’t kill baby seals and you have to fill it yourself.
This is nice because you don’t have to go through a two week tutorial for how to use this fancy water bottle, but it does have its drawbacks. If you have a standard ice machine at work, good luck getting ice in the bottle. I have endured so much ridicule for the sake of a good crushed ice cube population in this bottle because I have to push the lever and scoop it in. It’s annoying and I suspect that my hand may fall off if I subject it to frostbite for much longer. bkr understands this trial and has offered you a lovely and super-affordable $16 set of two ice tube trays so that you can put them in your bottles. (Pro-Tip: Ikea has comparable ice tube trays for $1 a pop and they’re frozen liquid magic. If you don't have an Ikea, Amazon has a two-pack for $7.39. You’re welcome.)
The silicone sleeve is meant to serve two purposes as I understand it. First off, it insulates the bottle, keeping your cold water cold. I assume it might work for hot water too but why would you do that to yourself? The other is to act as a shock absorbent buffer for the glass bottle, making sure that klutzy users don’t break it. This is the part that I was highly skeptical about, but I’m stunned. I have dropped this bottle a few (several) times and so far, so good. I’m legitimately impressed with that.
And then there’s the fact that the bottle is glass and sustainable. It’s been easy to keep clean (but it that’s a struggle, keep in mind that bkr understands this trial and has crafted a super convenient and affordable $8 perfect bottle brush, that is absolutely not a glorified pipe cleaner brush) and I haven’t had any issues with it that I’ve had with previous bottles. No mold. No nastiness. No weird taste from materials used. I mock bkr heavily, but they’ve crafted a solid product and that deserves to be recognized.
Now, would I drop that much money on one? $28 for an aptly named “teeny” bottle? Oh heck no. That’s just nonsense.
But the perk about these bottles being trendy is that if you’re affiliated with any kind of subscription service, you’re likely to have some way to get your hands on one, heavily discounted, either currently or in the near future. Like I mentioned, I got mine through FabFitFun and this week, ipsy has a promotion for a Teeny and a Little bundle package for $25 and that’s absolutely worth it. I might have bought the package because it was a good deal for a good product. If you have the means to get one through a subscription service, definitely scoop that up, but if not, maybe wait until there are discounted dupes or see if there’s a sale going on at some point so that you’re not paying a giant branding premium on them.
So basically, bkr is good if you want to hob-nob and pretend like you’re an a-list, water drinking celebrity, want a sustainable product and don’t mind paying a premium, or if you want to make a lot of jokes about something you own.
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